“Getting To Know You. Getting to Know all about Me.”

Like the school teacher Anna in the King and I, I guess we should start out getting to know each other.

I am glad you happened into my corner of the world.

My name is Sandi, I live in the wacky world of California. The state that can’t decide who runs the nation, or if it even wants to be part of our nation; the state that has the same makeup in its topography as the whole world crammed into its beautiful boundaries; the state with the most open-minded social agenda that doesn’t coincide with a majority of its land massed cities. I love this state and all its quirky ways. California doesn’t see age, it sees personality and I love that about its people.

I am the mother of 3 amazing grown children, mother-in-law to two confident, loving people, grand to 4 pups, and the wife of a handsome, hardworking public servant, Matt.  Our Youngest child just got married in February so we are journeying into empty-nesting. That’s something we are still trying to get used to.

I love the town we live in, not just because of it is small-town hominess, but because the business community and the social community are close-knit and respectable in their dealings with each other. Don’t get me wrong there is always politics everywhere, I just tend to wear rose-colored glasses and ignore the nasty people. Life is too short to worry about the ugliness in the world unless you plan on fixing it. I try to make the world a better place by volunteering in my own community and treating others with kindness and respect. That is my way of fixing the world around me.  I live in a county, and town, that is conservative (which is not as rare as you think in California.) My town is perfectly suited to me. It’s centrally located in Northern California. I can go to Lake Tahoe and San Francisco in the same amount of driving and all in one day if I really wanted to. A perfect blend of the mountains, snow and getting away for Matt and the big city, sun, and beach for me. What could be better?

Tahoe in the Winter

My favorite hamlet in California

I love to travel, explore new ideas and thoughts from different people I meet. I tend to like everyone I meet. getting to know someone is easy for me. I just love people.

I adore reading. I am associated with a group of Professional Readers who receive Advanced Reader Copies (ARCs) of books then review them online. I have an Instagram account @_lifeisasnap that revolves around reading, whether it’s book reviews, something new I am reading and I mix in my love of travel and reading together while I am out and about. I also have a Blogger account dealing with that love or reading. There is always a link in my Instagram account Bio to a new book review for that website. My main focus for book genres is Children Books, Young Adult (YA) Fantasy/Sci-fi and Biographies (auto and memoir). Although I do read a fair amount of general fiction I do that mostly for pleasure and not as my job. If you have a new book you would like plugged, I would love to read it and review it for you, you can send a request to my email account found on my ABOUT page.

I adore reading so much so that I want it to be a full-time job. Crazy, I know.  What can I say? I learn from reading. I get to know different thoughts and add to my basket of values from reading. I love talking about reading. I love sharing good books with others. However, this blog is not about reading, so if you don’t like to read books, Don’t worry, You are still safe here.

This blog is about empowering each other through changes in life. If you are like me and have just become an empty-nester, Welcome. If you are trying to figure out who you are, now that you are not a full-time mom, Welcome. If you are just getting into the workforce and frustrated with how much it’s changed over the past decade or more, Welcome. You have found a home.

I really want to get to know you too. So please introduce yourself in the comments. Let me know where I can find your corner of the world, come and let’s discuss life as we are living it. No topic is off subject, all I ask is for courtesy and kindness to others ideas. Shall we have a go at it?  I mean even though my handle is Life is a Snap! it really isn’t that easy, is it? It only tends to fly by in a snap! What can we do together to make it more meaningful, to make it count? Let’s Journey along together. Shall We?

Focusing on You

Do you pick a song for the new year, a word, or something else to focus on for the life of twelve months?  

I pick a song AND a word. This year, Whitney Houston’s One Moment in Time is my song. This year I have two words Valiant and Freeing.  Each month I will be focusing on some character trait that fits into those two words and not shy away from those things that make me squeamish. 

Valiant: possessing or acting with bravery or boldness: Courageous.  2: marked by, exhibiting, or carried out with courage or determination

Valiant reminds me of the prince that stays true to himself, protects others, and stays strong when faced with adversity. So to go with this word, I created a logo to remind me of my desire to be Valiant.   

Freeing: release from physical obstruction, restraint, or entanglement. 2: remove something undesirable or restrictive

What is it exactly that I want to be free from?  I love my relationships with my kids and husband. I am not in love with my relationship with myself. I’m not stretching myself, I am not going out of my way to make friends, although I have tons of people that I care about, I don’t have that group of girls that you just know you will be hanging around with for your lifetime. You know, I don’t have a Blanche, Sophia, and Rose to learn, grow and gab with. I really miss that. It gets hard when you move around a lot: seventeen times in 28 years and not even in the military. It’s the nature of Matt and I’s life.

If I was to give advice to my friends on how to stretch themselves, it would be to get involved in their church, volunteer in the community, find a social hobby to participate in and to put themselves out there. Easier to say than do sometimes. Right?

To be free to be me, I think that I might need to find a women’s group to join so I can get involved in the community, not just on my own, but with others where I can make friends closer to my age. Anyone have any suggestions?

****Yes, I realize it’s the end of March. I thought I posted this in January then found it in my drafts… darn.

Let’s talk Social Butterfly in the workforce

I’ve been helping a friend of mine with a dilemma that has been festering in her work environment.  This friend, let’s call her Susan, has a group of employees that are Social Butterflies. I’m going to call it “flittering” because when Susan discusses her situation, I feel as though some of her peers are so intent on wanting information that they are going from person to person, department to department just to trying and get out what someone will divulge. She feels that the minute she starts talking with these group of peers anything she offers of a personal nature will become office gossip. In fact, that has already happened to her. She feels betrayed by the social butterfly group. It’s bothering her so much that she is thinking of going to her boss to complain, but isn’t sure if that is the right thing to do. She wanted my advice on anything I can think of to help her with her situation. I told her I would think about a solution to what I would do if I was faced with her dilemma and get back to her.

I started thinking about it: I’m a social butterfly… Is being a social butterfly a bad thing as an employee?  Absolutely not. It’s how you spend your time at work and what is being discussed that might be the problem.  Do you have peers that just try to “flit” information from you just to hold for a later date to use against you, or worse, spread it around the workplace?

As a social butterfly, I feel It’s nice to get to know the people you work with, it’s nice to feel that connection. It’s nice to have a relationship where you can help each other solve problems. Things we may see as problems we are having at work and solving those problems collaboratively is productive.  Letting our hair down and going out to dinner or shooting the breeze during lunch makes for easier collaboration. When I worked I looked forward to the people I worked with. People are so diverse, Isn’t that wonderful? I learned and enjoyed those diversified traits other people had. It helped me to grow as a person. I cherish diversification. However, I would never in my right mind spread what I learned about the people I interacted with daily, or am close to, with the other people in the office.

How do I know if the other people are friendly with the people I interact with or what I say is going to be used against them as gossip fodder? I don’t. So, I don’t share my intimate knowledge of my peers with others. A lot of people do. That part of being a social butterfly is unacceptable.

 

That “flittering” doesn’t help with collaboration and doesn’t help develop relationships with people all it does is destroy trust because although someone feels as if they are making connections, the other people see the two-sidedness of your connection, especially when they hear it has spread to other people and they KNOW WHO THEY TALKED TO about whatever is spread.

You can get to know people, spend time with them after work, but never, ever gossip the things that people “risk” with you…  This is coming for a very trusting, very sharing individual. This I’ve learned over the years can only happen with the people I trust. You bite me once, your trust is blown. I don’t share anything “juicy” from my life ever again. It’s that simple.

In that vein, the big question comes: what do you do when you have people who you work with that do make personal information gossip fodder or lay waste to people’s lives by spreading around that personal information?  What can be done?  My first instinct, as I said before, is to close those people off, don’t communicate with them, don’t share with them anything personal, don’t interact unless you have to. I am not sure though if that creates a healthy work environment. Do you????

This is just my way, however, I am not working in an office environment anymore.

The next question is: if Susan goes to her boss, what in the world would he do about it? Is he even going to get involved, or will he think Susan isn’t a team player and then her job might be at risk???

An enigmatic situation, I tell you.

My thoughts are stuck. My ideas are null and void. I don’t have an answer for my friend. Does any of my readers have an idea???  I would, and I know Susan would too, love your input.